For Tomás

Dear Tomás, you were born on Saturday the 3rd of June, 2017. It was a pretty normal kind of day in most respects. It was the start of winter in Perth, if you could really call it that. The weather was warm but fresh with a cool breeze blowing, but the sun was shining brightly.

We had known this day would be the date you arrived for a while. It had been 4 years since your big brother was born, but the doctors knew about the Preeclampsia your Mum went through that time, and because of that, this pregnancy was approached with an abundance of caution.

Pregnancy is a miracle in so many ways when you actually think of all the things that can and do go wrong. At one of the final appointments we had a scan done, which indicated that you were going to be a Macrosomic baby (more than 4kg). The obstetrician we spoke to that day strongly recommended we book in for a Cesarean, seemingly wanting to pressure us into a decision, by casually saying “Well if you don’t mind your babies shoulder getting dislocated on the way out, then you can go natural”.

Fortunately our next appointment was with the head of obstetrics at King Edward hospital, and he had a much different opinion. He examined your mum and told us there was no issue with a natural birth. He did recommend you come a little earlier just in case, but he was confident that no shoulders were going to be broken on the way out.

He asked us to pick a day somewhere around two weeks before your due date, and so being the closest weekend, we picked Saturday the 3rd of June.

We had your abuelita here with us this time around. She’d arrived a few weeks earlier and had gotten busy trying to organise the house and backyard before getting stung by a bee right on the forehead. We’d been keeping a bee hive in the backyard and it was giving us the most amazing honey, but after the stinging, and with you about to be born, we decided it’d be best to give them away.

It’s a strange feeling knowing you’re going to have a baby on a specific day. The first time round with Harold it was a whirlwind of action and drama with a happy ending. This time round there was a strange calmness. We woke up in the morning, had breakfast, got dressed, rang the hospital and asked if we should come in and they said “Actually it’s a bit busy, why don’t you come in later”… Well ok then…

So now we had to find something to do. Of course your mum decided that she wanted to go to the beach. It didn’t matter if it was hot or cold or anywhere in between, the beach is her happy place, and nothing calms her spirit like being in the ocean.

So off we went to City Beach to walk along the sand and watch the waves crashing on the shore. Harold immediately decided that he was going for a swim. We didn’t bring his bathers but that didn’t stop him, and he stripped naked to go and play in the waves. Your mum rolled up her pants and both of them walked down to the waters edge, with your abuelita and I looking on like they were both crazy.

After a swim we started to feel hungry, so we went to the restaurant nearby, but just as we’d ordered the hospital rang. “You can come in now” they said. “Oh, we’ve just sat down to have lunch I replied…”. The nurse was lovely and said “Well there’s no rush. Finish your lunch and come in when you’re ready”.

So there we sat in Clancy’s Fish Pub in City Beach, having our last meal together before going to the hospital to meet you.

When we arrived at King Edward it was late afternoon and there was a shift change in the delivery area. We waiting around and they gave your mum dinner and we arranged for abuelita and Harold to be taken home.

We eventually got led into the delivery room and explained the procedure. We’d be induced the same as last time, which meant a couple of drips in your mums hand to feed in the Syntocinon which makes the contractions start.

I had tried to find a spot in the corner of the room where I could leave my camera and other stuff, and was busy trying to connect a charger for my phone when the next second 4 people came rushing into the room.

“What’s going on?!” I said… and someone yelled… “Who called code blue??!”

I had no idea what they were talking about, but then realised I’d accidentally lent on the big red button next to the bed which you push when there’s a serious emergency and someone is dying… Not my finest moment.

Fortunately they let me stay in the room after that, because the drugs worked FAST. The first time with Harold it took around 4 hours from start to finish, but this was going much faster. Your mum was feeling the contractions coming in strong, and even though she originally said she didn’t want any pain relief, she did accept the offer of some gas to take the edge off the contractions.

According to her it did nothing though… she was sucking on the tube like a smoker trying to extract every last milligram of nicotine from the worlds last cigarette, and then looking at doctors with a face that said “Is this thing on??”

Still… the contractions came faster and faster and in less than 90 minutes it was time to start pushing. She pushed so hard this time around that a blood vessel burst in her forehead, but nothing could stop her from bringing you into the world.

After starting inducing at 7pm, you arrived at 9:18pm that night, 3.6kg of healthy baby, placed onto your mums chest as tears of joy rolled down her cheeks and mine.

Tomás, you are a joy. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write this post. You’re a beautiful 8 year old boy now. Gentle and kind of full of wonder. You have the same thoughtful eyes you did when you were born and we love you so much.